His Ways Are Higher

So this morning I woke up feeling a little discouraged and just walking though some battles in my mind. I was determined not to continue to allow the lies in my head to dictate and control the rest of my day as they had the night before. I knew the first thing I had to do to pursue righteousness was to get in a good work out this morning. I googled some parks around Fayetteville and settled on one about 15mins away with a lake. My GPS took me to some random address that was certainly not a park but for some reason I was determined to find it. It was the like the spiritual warefare had already begun, but I knew I had been given the power to overcome. So finally, I find the park! It had a beautiful lake with a long trail around it, some paved and the rest in the woods, much like one of my favorite parks back home. I started off walking and listening to a Preston Morris sermon about change and after that I decided to run for a while. Since coming home from Australia I have definately taken my time building my milage back up and at this point the most I had run was probably about 2 miles. Turns out the Lord must have just really wanted some time with me because it turned out to be a 5.5 mile trail! As I pressed through the hardest part of the run I thought back to how sweet I remember my time being when Ash and Holl and I were training for the 1/2 marathon and how praying for other people in my life had brought forth this strength and perseverence. So I just started praying...for friends, family, roomates, Australia, school, etc and twords the end I started praying for the Lord to continue to refine certain areas of my life and for Him to just begin to open doors ministry wise...bibles studies to plug into, some different roles in campus ministries, a solid church community, a job, and just some older women to pour into my life and for me to learn from.

I literally was meditating on all the times I'd doubted Him before and how every time He blew my mind with His provision and just how it's always better then anything I could try to "figure out" in my own strength which is always my tendency to try to do, when this woman running in front of me slows down. She turns around a couple times to look and me and smiles. I really didnt think anything of it until I look up to see here looking back at me, this time she was trying to say something. As I stumbled for the volume control on my i-pod, I was thinking to myself how I just wanted more time with the Lord, kind of annoyed that she was bothering me. As has always been true in the past, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isa. 55:9.

I caught up to her and she started asking me about my running history...how long I'd been doing it, how many races I'd run, etc. This led into what I was doing here in Fayetteville and I explained to her how I came down to go to the U of A, nothing more. I'm not really sure if it's just the fact that I live in the "bible belt" now and this is just normal or if this was just the hand of God from the start, but I'm leaning tword the latter. She asked me where I go to church. I explained that I actually just moved here and am still looking for a church. She said well, I would love to invite you to come to my church...it's called New Heights. Well it turns out New Heights was actually the first church on my list to check out becuase two of my roomates go there! I told her that and she asked me who they were, but she didn't know either of them. One of my roomates is Kelly and when I mentioned her name, this woman said she didn't know her but she did know a "really tall Kelli with curly brown hair that played volleyball for the U of A"....well right away in my heart I was just blown away by the Lord already. As I explained to her, this Kelli is actually one of the few girls I know here in Fayetteville b/c her family goes to my church back home and her mom, Terri has been leading the women's bible study and summer study I've been in this past year and has just played a signifacant role in my life both teaching and encouaraging me spiritually. If this wasn't crazy enough, she goes on to ask me if I know one other girl, and I should preface this by saying that out of 20,000 students at the U of A, I literally know two girls who go there and of course the next name she says is do you know Dani? And it just so happens I met Dani this past winter when she came to STL to speak at a missions day with me at my church b/c of a connection through Terri, Kelli's mom. We both spoke of our upcoming summer missions trips and asked the women to support us financially. That was the only time I met Dani and how crazy that here I am months later, running in the middle of the woods in Fayetteville, AR at some random park talking to this woman I just met, yet feeling as if I have known her for years. We kept running together and talking for the next couple miles. She asked me in detail about how I got here and I explained the crazy story of how the Lord brought me to Fayetteville. We talk about Lightbearers, the discipleship program I'm in and of course she knew a bunch of people involved with this ministry. We started talking about how I was looking for a job and she just turned and looked me and smiled that smile that basically says "well, sweetheart, you've come to the right place!" She went to tell me how just yeasterday she heard of the perfect job opening that would be right up my alley. We kept talking and I was just completely blown away by the Lord's answer to my prayer.

He doesn't always work that quickly, but man do I doubt His sovereignty sometimes. He showed me how I realyl just take for granted the fact that He is GOD! He can do whatever He wants, whenever He wants. His word says that if we simply lay our cause before Him, He will perform miracles and wonders our minds cannot even comprehend! Why don't I always come to Him in prayer laying my cause before Him, not just beliving He hears me but EXPECTING to see His provision. Yesterday I was reading in Genesis about Abraham walking up the mountain to sacrafice His son Issac and eventually he finds out that it was just a test from the Lord of his obedience and the Lord had put a ram up there to sacrafice instead but the Lord just gave me this picture of how literally as Abraham is walking up the one side of this mountain with his son to sacrafice, the Lord already has the provision, this ram, walking up the other side of the mountain. So often we forget, or I do anyway, that even when I just seem to be treking up this never ending trail, confused, doubtful, alone with no end in sight, He always has provision, the answer, wisdom, community, divine appointment, His plan, trekking up the other side. And after the test is passed, obedience prevails, in HIS perfect and most beautiful timing I get to experience His provision and just like meeting this woman (an answer to prayers just minutes prior) His ways are always better then anything I could ever think up.

Lord I thank you that you are GOD! How undeserving am I, nothing but a sinner saved by your abounding and overwhelming grace. How meaningless and hopeless my life is apart from YOU!

As the trail came to an end and we reached the cars, we exchanged numbers and agreed to look for oneanother at church. She hugged me goodbye, (despite our gross sweaty clothes) and I know this is just the begining of a beautiful relationship between this sweet godly woman and myself. Though I have no clue how it may play out, one thing I do know....as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts! Isa. 55:9.

So glad I went running this morning! :)

Becoming a Razorback

Well, here I am after surviving my first day as an Arkansas Razorback at THE U of A. I was told that you can't just say I go to "U of A" but rather "THE U of A." But anyhow, the past several weeks have been full of transition and craziness it seems like. Tonight has been probably the first night in a few weeks I have had no plans and gotten to enjoy relaxing!

First let's back track a bit to the past several weeks. Two weeks ago I piled all of my belongs into a U-Haul trailer and two cars and made the 5 hour drive from Wildwood, MO to my new home here in Fayetteville. My mom and Kevin came along to help me move and that was such a blessing! I could not have done it without thier help for sure. On that Friday we got me all moved in and settled. I got to meet two of my roomates and spend my very first night in my new apartment. Then the next morning I woke up and said goodbye to my mom and Kev as they headed back to STL. I also got on the road, headed the opposite direction to Conway, AR. I got to meet up with two wonderful teamates and sweet friends of mine from my time in Australia and we got to spend the day together. Justin is going to school in Conway, which is basically the half-way mark b/tw Emily and I so she came and met me there. We helped Justin move into his dorm, making fun of some of the halrious things in his possession as he unpacked everything! We had wonderful lunch togeter full of sweet conversations of all the Lord had been doing in each of our lives over the past months and weeks. Then we headed back to campus and hung out a while more until it was time to go and then I followed Emily to her hometown in Jonesboro, AR where I got to spend the night at her place. This time together was so precious and much needed! We stayed up way too late just getting to catch up and talk about how incredble our God and just getting to encourage one another in our walks. It was a beautiful time I would not trade for anything. The next morning I got to wake up and go to church with Emily to a precious church where her dad is pastor. I was blessed to learn from Em as she taught the youth prior to the service as well. Just seeing the unity among the body in this small town was such a beautiful thing to me. Everyone, no matter how different or how alike, just seemed like family and the love in that place was unmistakable. After a deliciouis lunch with the Emily and her family I was back on the road once again, headed home to STL.

It was really a weird thing coming home. I felt like I just went on this little vacation and now I was going back home just like normal. However, soon enough I would realize the next time I returned to AR, it would be my new home!

Upon arriving home I spent the next four days/nights going going going non-stop. We had our last college bible study with the Cosseys which is something I am going to miss dearly. Then on Monday I had my last day of nannying my precious boys and it was sooo difficult to say goodbye....Cole, the younger of the two boys, was so sweet. About 45mins after I had left, he called my phone balling his eyes out that I was leaving and asking me to promise to come back and see him soon. Soooo precious! Despite challenges here and there, I could not have asked for a more incredible family to have spent my time with this past year and I miss them so much already.

From work I headed straight downtown with Ashley to have a "going away" dinner at Maggianos. It was delicious! I was so blessed to get to have this sweet time just to spend with Ash and talk about many different things. Afterwards, she showed me some of the thigns she and her fiancee had registered for and then we went to this amAAzing place Anthropolgie! Her favorite store that I had yet to have gone to...which is a good thing because of course I love everything in it and it is way out of my price range!! But she was all about speaking my love language that night which I sooo loved of course and she asked if she could buy me a notebook because the very first time we hung out she bought me one and would write verses in it for me to memorize and reflect upon. It really wasnt even the fact that she wanted to buy me the notebook, but the fact that she remembered that and wanted to make this night significant and special to me....she is just sooo sweet! Then I was totally thrown off (though she never lied directly) to come back to Ash's to find some very wonderful girls waiting to surprise me! As they jumped out from behind the couch I was totally caught off gaurd and blown away...for a minute the thought literally went through my head that I just ruined someone else's surprise party! It was so unexpected and usually I never fall for that kind of thing, probably b/c I am usually the one behind it! It was such a fun night of brownies, memories, and sweet friends all who have just been such an encouragement in my life. Thanks sooo much for speaking my love language Ash :)

On Tuesday I packed awhile and got to visit with some of my motherly figures/mentors and women who have just selflessly poured and poued into my life day after day. I got to have coffee with my precious Mama Fogt and our time together was so wonderful just to catch up on life and share all the Lord had done these past few weeks. Then later in the afternoon I got to go spend some time with Kelli and Shelly who just poured Truth into my life as always and listened to me babble about all of my fears, doubts, excitement, and struggles! These are two of the most solid, selfess, beautiful, loving, and wise women I have ever known and the Lord has just so greatly blessed me by allowing me to be apart of thier lives! Thank you both....I love and miss you sooooo much! Then Tuesday night I got to spend celebrating 20 years of life with my bestest friend Lesley. What a gift she is in my life! We went to a wonderful dinner at guess where? Maggianos!! Yup, thats two night in a row for me of spagetti and meatballs...oh well Ash let my leftovers rot from the night before so it worked out anyway! We just had some great conversation and time together. Then we went back and watched a movie which I slept through as usual and enjoyed some delisious smores and oreo balls with a few more friends.

On wednesday I spent most of the day with Ash helping her with some wedding stuff, errands, lunch with the ZOE gang at Chickfila and finished packing. Got to have one last dinner with Les before we both left the next morning to drive opposite directions across the world :( Then went to an incredible night of ZOE where we praised God i worship and learned about the Holy Spirit from Phillip. I got to say many final goodbyes, though it was still yet to hit me I was really leaving Zoe. Ash was so gracious to allow me to spend my last night in her bed, my favorite place to be! Then I woke up bright and early and began the five hr drive to Arkansas! More to come!

But you will not leave in haste or go in flight: for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard. Isaiah 52:12