The Old has gone, the NEW has Come!

The pictures say it all...Those who are in Christ are a NEW creation, the old has gone and the NEW has come!

Day of Arrival at Mercy
Feb. 16, 2009

Day of Graduation from Mercy
July 23, 2009

It is hard to believe that just one year ago today I was just beginning my journey of "life after Mercy"...and what a journey that has been! I walked out those doors expecting certain things to happen this year and all I can say is that the LORD has not met each one of those expectations, yet He has exceeded anything I could ever ask or imagine. Looking back, I would not change anything about this year, because although there were some challenging times for me, I know He used each one of them to teach me, to refine me, to draw me closer to Him in the process. This year can actually be summed up by that one simple word: PROCESS!

Exodus 23: 29-30 says:
"But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land."

How beautiful is that picture...the Lord is just so patient and so gracious! He knows if He gives it all to us at once, fixes it all, says it all, reveals it all, well, then the land becomes desolate and the animals too numerous...LITTLE by LITTLE (a process) He will drive them out until we have increased enough to possess the land! This blows my mind. This year I have learned that in every situation, every struggle, every victory it always comes down to how it is a process. Even just doing life...it is a never-ending process. But how incredible that the Lord allows us to experience these processes and through it He is just further making us look like Him...He is getting rid of the extra junk we so easily carry on our back when He already died to take it away. He is refining those areas of our lives, both obvious and hidden, which hinder us in bringing glory to His name. He is doing so slowly, because if He did it all at once, He knows it would be too much to bear. His word says He never gives us more then we can handle. He is a gracious and loving Father...He protects us by not allowing the desert to suffocate us nor the wild animals to devour us. Though at times, it certainly feels as if the very things He intends to protect us, to refine us, to make us look more like Him might just kill us. Often, even His word is like holy sandpaper. At least this has been something I have found.

Honestly there were points in my life this year where I questioned His goodness, I doubted His plan, I was angry and hurt by Him. At times, I even felt abandoned and left hung out to dry. Like a patient laying wide open on the operating table, my major organs fixed yet still He is digging around pricking and prodding in every little corner of my insides. At times the pain just seemed unbearable and never ending. Like one blood vessel is mended yet five more are still leaking...and of course any accredited doctor isn't going to close up a patient after simply fixing one of the of six vessels...so open I layed, just clinging to the Truth that I knew despite the pain I felt; there would come a moment when the pain would lessen, then disappear and the wholeness and peace I would experience would far outweigh all the hurt of the surgery I endured to get there. The Lord WILL finish the good work He began. LITTLE B
Y LITTLE He will drive it out of us! Little by little, He will equip us to possess the Land. That's for sure. And in this process, we are never complete, never finished until the day we come face to face with the King Himself in heaven. But what a blessing that we get to experience a little bit of heaven here on earth...He intends for us to experience life, life to the full...He rejoices when we finally pass the test, press through the pain and struggle, submit to the refinement process and then, then He finally gives us the victory, the grace really, to go in and possess the land! Praise God.

Through this year of processes, I have been so blessed to experience the beauty of overcoming different sin in my life, hurt in past, circumstances that suck, feelings that deceive and so forth to get to go in and take the land that He has given me. There is nothing like it. But really I must say that it is in the desert, in the fire, on the operating table that I learn what I need to know to "posses the land" in each one of those areas of my life which He has refined. It is the process that makes me more like Him...it is the times when I feel I just can't handle any more of whatever He is doing that I am changed by His unfailing love for me, a sinner saved by His abounding grace and mercy. That is when the transformation occurs. And without that transformation, without that operation, there would be no freedom in the promise land, no relief from the pain. But He who the Son sets free is FREE INDEED! This year has been about refinement yielding freedom, and freedom bearing fruit.

This year has been a process, but what a beautiful one it has been. I am not where I want to be, but praise God I am not who I was! I will continue to submit to the process, not the product! Even if it kills me!

This year my prayer is to see myself as and live as the new creation I am in Christ. The Lord has shown me that when I look in the mirror, or when I see myself through the eyes of others, I am no longer that girl in the first photo. In Christ, I am a NEW creation; the old has gone and the NEW has come.( 2 cor 5:17) I am learning what it means to be a new creation....to actually see myself as the girl in the second photo...I mean I have been her for a year now, but most of the time I think I still see the old girl, I think other people only see the old girl. But praise God I am no longer defined by my past. I am no longer Courtney, troubled girl with all these issues who will never be effective for the Kingdom. I am a beloved daughter of the Most High King and He chose me before I was a born and set me apart for a specific purpose. The Lord is teaching me how to be made NEW in Him in every aspect of my life, areas I have never even thought of. How to live everyday as a New creation, how to walk submitted to Him, conformed to HIS image and likeness. He is just so good. He completely blows my mind everyday and I am just excited for another year of learning and being refined, chopped away at, just to be made more like Christ...to experience more freedom and wholeness in my life, everyday.

Praise God for Mercy Ministries and the good work He began in my life there. At Mercy, I met Jesus and fell madly, deeply, passionately in love with Him. I learned how to pursue freedom from many life-controlling issues which had brought me to the brink of death. At Mercy, I learned how to live. This process of being refined, of healing and wholeness would not be where it is today had it not been for what the Lord did in my life during my Mercy journey. A year ago, I thought graduation from Mercy was the finish line, when in fact, it was just the beginning.

And so the process begins again...I don't know what this year holds, but I know the One who holds it! And I know He has a beautiful plan for my life which far exceeds anything I could ever ask or imagine.

Bring on the process!