I Know The Plans I Have For You

Well slowly but surely the money for Australia is coming, but I still have a ways to go. I found out that although the cook book was an incredible idea, due to a lack of time, it is not going to be something I can do for this trip, but what a great idea! I have handed out a ton more M&M cans so I know that will help a lot. Other then that, I'm looking for ideas!
Last week I got to share an updated version of my testimony in a women's bible study and really just talked about what the Lord is doing right now in my life and even the areas I am struggling. It was so great to be able to be real about the sin in my life and proclaim the incredible love and freedom in Christ. I know that it has really opened up a lot of doors for me to be able to start forming my testimony for Australia and the Lord used this oppurtunity to just give me confidence in Him and a boldness to share what He is doing in my life. It is so crazy just how the more my security is in Him, everything else makes sense.
This past weekend I was just getting to spend some time talking out different struggles in my life right now with a friend and oddly one of them that she brought up was this Australia trip. At first I was kind of taken aback by her comment, but then I realized really quickly that there was some kind of a disconnect between me and my desire to go on this trip and this process of fundraising and the Lord had been trying to call my attention to it, but I just sort of ignored Him, knowing I had bigger issues then this. But He is just so patient and so constant. Eventually I guess He knew I would submit to the process. Basically, He showed me that when I first signed up for this trip, I was a totally different girl then who I am now. And praie the Lord for that and how He is continually drawing us closer, refining, teaching, etc and there is no way I should expect to ever stay the same...I always want Him to be changing me through my time with Him...everyday. But as a result, I have internally been struggling with the honest truth that if I could choose to go on a mission trip right now, it would not be to Australia nor would it be with the ministry I am going with. However, the Lord knew that in my immaturity and not so pure heart motives I would choose this and the incredible thing is that He has showed me some incredible things about His sovereighnty in my life through this situation...He has it all figured out no matter what, and His ways are sooo perfect!
Basically, if I could choose to go on a mission trip, it would be to an underprivaliged counrty in need of medical care...medical missions is my heart. But enstead I am going to "glamorous" Australia to perform dramas, share the gospel on the streets of sydney, and minister to an unreached people group outside the city. (Which are all incredible things and people will be saved and Jesus will be made known) BUT if you knew me at all, you may think this is a joke. For one, I am not a performer to say the least; I am the girl holding the camera, not the one on it! Being at ZOE for a couple yrs now, I have not once been on the camera or in any of skits they do; that is honestly the last thing I would ever want to do! Secondly, when I go to the store, pass someone in the park, talk to people at school, etc I am yet to have the boldness to tell them about Jesus; yet I am going to another country to do just that...and in the middle of a city to top it off! Yet the Lord knew all of this. He has basically shown me that although I may not want to go to Australia to share the gospel and perform dramas and talk to people (all out of my comfort zone) and that I may think my gifts could be better used on a different trip, He knew the entire time what the purpose of this trip was...it wasnt ever about me choosing the "wrong" one and that even in my weakness, His power is made perfect...see He knew from the start that in my immaturity I would sign up for this...He knew I would come to this point where I didnt really have a passion to go on it or regret that Im not going somewhere else...BUT He knew that He had been preparing for such a time as this and for this exact trip. I know that I dont feel comfortable performing in front of a big audience. I know I'm not great at sharing the gospel with a stranger. But He knew that too...and He has made it so clear to me that regaurdless of my desire, this is just what He wants to do in me. I am finally excited about this trip and just blown away by the hand of God on my life in every single possible way and so humbled by His sovergnity. I am not going to Australia for me; I'm going out of obedience to the Lord and I know that it is gooing to push me out of what is comfortable and challenge me in so many ways, but with Him I can do anything. I know He is not going to give me more then I can handle either. I know our ministry will be so glorifying to Him and I pray that hundreds will proclaim His name over our time there, but regaurdless of what He does through us, I have incredible expectation for what He is preparing to do in me through this misson trip.
Even when I doubt and dont understand, I know that every single time His ways and plans are far better then anything I could ever imagine or come up with in my own strength!
Jer 29:11...For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future!