Lead Me

So for the past several months this song has been playing on the radio. Every time it would come on, it was like my heart would jump out of my chest, this deep and desperate plea for the words of this song to be the cries of husbands and daddys hearts, which in the world we live in today, seems to be a rarity indeed. Listening to the words, it really does just some up so many hurts and heartaches within the family unit, or lack there of, today. A man is created and equip by God to lead his wife and his children. This is why so many families are falling apart in recent years. I mean over HALF of marriages in this country end in divorce. HALF. That ought to disgust us, to horrify us, especially as believers, it ought to singe within us a deep desperate passion to do something about it- whether that means take on the world or to take on one's own marriage, one's own family.

As a nineteen year old college student for a long time I never knew what my role was suppossed to be in this. I mean, this is one of my passionate interests within the study of the family, probably becase I am completely blown away by how beautiful yet entirely different a home where Christ is the center is from a home where He is non-existant. I have seen in my own life the wide and painful consequences of marriages ending, of divorce, of this deep longing to be loved and accepted by someone of the opposite sex as I have seen bothof my parents model in different ways. And I know that I know that I KNOW without a doubt the picture of marriage as a covenant, a godly man submitted to the Lord leading a godly woman who also submits to the Lord above all but as an earthly picture of that, is able to submit to her husband, I KNOW that this is the ONLY way for a marriage to truly be all that Lord intends for it to be. There is no other way. There is no other method which will yeild more peace, more protection, more blessing, or more glory to God then this. This is ultimate Truth, an area in which I have made a covanent between myself and Lord to refuse to settle for anything less then this, because I am all too farmiliar with what things look like on the other side.

Praise God that in the name of Jesus this generation curse of divorce, affairs, abuse, this seeking of pleasure from anyone at any time, within generations of my family is broken with me. This is not to say, however, that this idea, this image of submitting to my husband one day as he is submitting to Christ, is not one of the scariest things in the world to me. I think a lot of this, well for sure a lot of this, is becuase whenever I think of submitting to a man, I just think of having to submit to my dad, or a man like my dad or even one of the hundreds of men my mom brought home over the years. Granted, there is NO doubt that God is moving in my dad's life now and I tear up just thinking about the transformation that is occuring before my very eyes, but this is not the man that I knew for the past 19years you know. And my mom is now married to an incredible guy whom I have so much respect for. But again, the past 19years that has not been the case. So all these years seeing all these messed up husbands and daddys have etched this picture in my mind, this horrifyingly ugly image of men, of marriage, of family life in general. The idea of submitting my life to one of these men for a long time was honestly repulsive to me.

But several weeks ago, I began praying intently for the Lord to begin to heal some of these wounds and to begin to renew my mind in this area, washing out these lies that Ihave known as truth for 19 years and to begin filling those holes with Truth. Over the past few weeks, He has begun an incredible work in my heart and my mind. One of the coolest things He has shown me is in Genesis 3 when it says in verse 16 "Your desire will be for your husban an he will rule over you," well this word "desire" is actually the same desire that Esu talks about with sin...and how sin is crouching at your dour...this desire to sin...this desire to control. So then I reaize, as women, how often do we struggle with having a desire to control things...anythng really...our husband, kids, job, money, parents...the list could go on forever. So essentially God is saying, "woman, you are going to desire to control, but grasciously I am giving you a PROTECTOR to rule over you!" This is just yet anotherincrediblely mind-blowing picture of God's grace and perfect soverignty in my life. What a GIFT submitting to my husband is going to be...and its NOT to hurt me or hinder me as a woman, it is to guard and protect and love me! I can honestly sit here writing this today and say that not only am I excited about marriage, but it is the most incredible blessing the world to get to submit to a godly man someday and to be found in the wing of his protection as we both look to Christ to hold our marriage together. This idea that there is a man with whom I will spend my life and that together we will glorify Christ more then when we are apart....even that blows my mind! God's increble story of REDMPTION, of love, of protection, of mercy and grace...it is written ALL over the bible. Even in something as little as the way a marraige should look. Oh Lord thank you!

With all of that being said, this has been my prayer for my husband....to just pray these words over his life, to have an understanding that apart from Christ, He is nothing. That without Christ, our marriage is nothing. And that through Christ, we can do anything...not because we're so great, but because of HIS incredible story of our redemption that we just get to play a little tiny part in.

I know that my marriage is not going tobe summed up by some statistic on a piece of paper. I am praying for my husband...that the Lord is just holding his heart and guiding Him in the Way that leads to life...aundant life. I pray that he is learning and growing daily. That not a day goes by He is not changed by time spent in the prescence of an ulmighty God. I pray that He is surrounding himself by godly husbands and daddys, hungry to know what it looks like to live it out every single day. Most of all, I just pray that he is falling madly, deeply and passionately in love with Jesus...and that this is what is pouring out from within him in all that he does and says.


Lead Me by Sanctus Real
I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...
“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?
Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”
So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up
I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone