Best Friend, Beloved Sister

this photo describes our friendship perfectly

It’s weird because I can remember the first time we met like it was yesterday. My friend brought me to a bible study at her friend’s house one night. I was shocked to see some old faces from middle school there, and enjoyed catching up. The girl who lived there, she led most of the study. I could tell from the moment she began speaking that she had a lot of wisdom about God and His word. I retraced my mind for times that I had seen her in the hallways or the cafeteria over the past couple years attending the same high school, but I swore I had never seen her before. (The funny thing is that she is the one who would make fun of me to this day for not knowing people that I went to school with for four years.) But anyhow, I knew there was something different about her and immediately I wanted to be her friend.

After bible study that very first night, I slipped her a little note, just telling her that I really enjoyed coming that night and I would love to get to talk further. She responded right away. I’m not sure if I’m right about this, but I actually think that our friendship began via Facebook for awhile. It just so happened that the same week I came to that first bible study, I lost a family member to cancer. Again, when I think back to how all this happened, I really don’t understand it more then to simply say that it was the hand of God in His precious and perfect timing from day one. But for some reason, I guess I began talking to this precious girl over facebook, pouring out my broken heart to her, go figure. She responded to gracefully, empathetic to my situation since she also, had been in that same place.

we even started to look alike!

In November of 2007, I wrote in my journal “I talked to Lesley and she had a similar experience with her cousin and cancer, which is ironic really. It could be a “seed being planted” as Pastor Rick would say. Hahah. Oh I read this and laugh. God you really are the Faithful Father of whose grace and mercy I will never understand, but will not survive one day without. Yes, Father, you planted a seed the day you brought this precious girl into my life. Since then, it has grown, become rooted deeply, deep within your love, wrapped around your Truth. Growing tall and blossoming in the Light of your Son. Bearing fruit…fruit that will last, fruit of righteousness.

our first time hanging out...
we went scrapbooking!

On December 10, 2007 I wrote “I scrapped with Lesley Saturday night and it was SO much fun! I think it could be the start of an awesome friendship—she’s amazing.” Life is funny really. I had no clue what I was saying, and yet the simplicity and truthfulness of this statement are so hard for me to grasp looking back now. Lord, you really do have a sense of humor sometimes.

Lesley Rebecca Wilkinson, it is hard for me to recall the details of the beginning because it seems as if I’ve known you my whole life. After all you’ve had to put up with, it probably seems that way to you too. : )

I have started to write this blog about five times now, and every time I give up. The words don’t come out how I want them to. There is too much to say and too few words to say it with. The day that I walked into your basement, I had no idea how that decision, that one choice to go to some random bible study at some girls house I didn’t know, how that would change the course of my life. Yet, here I am.

first photo together :)

Oh there are so many memories to share. So much to rejoice in. So much to weep over. As I was reading through old journals the other day, it brought to memory so many things. We really have had to walk through some junk over the years. We have been hateful to one another more then I would like to admit. As I read some desperate attempts at pouring my heart out on a piece of paper, the hurt, bad communication, confusion, selfishness, jealousy, insecurity, pride, lack of compassion, arguments, disagreements, days spent in silence, and our inability to love one another well over the years became more real to me then ever before. Oh forgive me, precious friend. Forgive me for every moment I failed and will continue to fail at loving you with the selfless love Christ has so greatly poured upon me.

You got SO mad at me this night for throwing you
an 18th Bday Party! :)

Yet, I don’t think I would change any of it. As much as it hurt sometimes, our friendship has endured the flame and fire, yet still it stands, stronger then before the junkiness of our hearts was burnt away by the painful flames. Somehow, reconciliation always followed, the healing always came. And I can honestly say that even in the thick of it, I never doubted what we shared would persevere. Now I see it…a little seed planted from day one. Just like the parable in John 15 talking about the tree bearing good fruit only after it is pruned by the Father. Awhile ago, I learned that for an olive tree to bear good fruit, it has to be completely pruned for THREE years before it is able to even bear one piece of good fruit. He did spend a few years pruning our friendship and continues to do so ever so gently, yet what a beautiful picture of his faithfulness from day one. Through it ALL, the ups and downs, beautiful and ugly, the glory belongs to the Maker!

On February 26th, 2008 our friendship changed forever. Though the effects were not really evident for years to come, this was the day we become more then just friends...we became sisters. Sisters in Christ. Sisters in love with the same Father who knit our hearts together in a beautiful and unfathomable way from day one. I will never understand it. Though my heart became Jesus’ that day, my life was still not surrendered to him for another year. Yet through it all, you loved me. I always knew that when you were next to me, it was all gunna be okay…and even when it wasn’t okay, I looked over and you were still there. In the midst of t

he deepest pain and most unfathomable darkness, you have been there. It the greatest joy and most precious moments of victory, you have been there. Sisterhood does not even begin to sum up the precious gift you have been in my life Lesley Wilkinson.

goofy!

I could fill a book with the most precious memories I so greatly cherish, of times with you by my side, but I will just share a few. I don’t know why, but somehow this one always comes to my mind. So simple and innocent, yet looking back it was one of the most profound realizations of my life at the time. We were at the mall. I have no idea why, since neither of us really enjoy that place. It was late fall, senior year. I was in the middle of IOP, I remember eating soup in your car on the way there because I had taken too long trying to eat it at your house. We were done shopping. You got a lemonade and a pretzel from the little pretzel stand and we were leaving. Heading up on the escalator, you asked me to hold the lemonade. You had just taken a big swig and told me how good it was. You told me to try it. I wrote in my journal later, “And then I kinda looked up at her with this question in my eyes and smiled. I didn’t have to say anything and then she said, ‘Ahhhh Court I’m so excited for you! One day, we’re going to be able to go get ice cream and steal each other’s food…’ Even though I couldn’t try that lemonade, the thought of actually doing it came into my mind and just the way Les noticed a difference in my reaction, without words spoken between us, and how she just knew and said that to me was the most encouraging moment for me. I can’t wait for the day I can go have ice cream with her too!” It’s funny how precious the little things are sometimes. I can remember having so much hope that week in treatment. It was like Les showed me this little glimmer of hope, a little tiny light at the end of a whole lot of darkness. Actually, she always had that effect in my life. A little light in a whole lotta darkness. She radiates the love of the Father. Over the years, there have been so many of these sweet and quiet moments which consistently turn out to be the most profound within our friendship.

precious girl

one of the projects we made

Another one of my favorites was when I was in the hospital and you and Jo walk in with these massive balloons and you spend your Saturday night making the stupidest Christmas crafts with me, laying next me in that horrendous bed, making me laugh so hard they told us to quiet down many a couple times, sitting with me in the hallway for an hour while I chugged that delicious supplement, and the BEST part of the night...my first bit of freedom, we got

a little crazy…they let you wheel me around the hallway of the third floor for ten minutes!!! And yet I don’t think I had so much fun in months. In the midst of the darkness that consumed my life, in the midst of the deep hurt and pain I was in, in the midst of the sin that entangled my mind and body, you made me laugh. You shined so brightly, light in the darkness again. More then anything about that night, I felt loved. You treated me like the most important person in the world, when all I did was lie to you, hurt you and take from you, never giving or loving you the way you loved me. Yet still, I looked to my right, and there you were, to laugh with me as you rolled me down the hallways or to cry with me as I poured out what I was really thinking. And this is just one little example of one night…but I can remember daily, sometimes hourly texts and calls from you during this time. If that wasn’t enough, you invested hours of writing me essays for six months of my life weekly, maybe more. You sent flowers and cards. You drove me to Columbia. You let me live at your house for a season of time…there was nothing that ever stopped you from selflessly loving me and showing me just how precious I was in the eyes of the Heavenly Father, that as much as I meant to you, He loved me that much more.

we went to tour Radford...guess it never made the cut!

the beautiful Cascades

The last one I will share is coming to spend a long weekend with you in Blacksburg last year. Oh what a time of rejoicing this trip was for us both! I remember hearing from God so clearly on the plane coming up there. He blew me away. I was finally walking in freedom from much of the junk that had consumed my past. I was so excited to see the mountains. And to spend precious time with my sweet sister. Being apart from one another that first year of college, I really didn’t know what our friendship would look like on the other side. Yet, a seed had been planted, it had been pruned, and now it was finally bearing fruit…fruit that would last! This was such a time of rejoicing and loving and praying and learning and confessing sin and praying some more and memorizing scripture…about how life is a PROCESS…little by little right? This was and probably will forever be my favorite trip. The best part was laying in your bed one afternoon…yup both of us snuggled up into the little twin sized bed, eating oatbeal squares out of the box and watching some love story. Then Valentines dinner at Red Robin because everything else was too crowded! And hiking into the mountains…walking on water (or ice…half freezing water/half ice) just to get a silly picture. Dreaming about our futures…nursing school at Radford and being roommates. Hard to believe that was just a year ago, it seems like SO much has happened since then. So much has changed. Oh and did I mention the best part? Niether of us ended up at Radford and only one of us is going to nursing school! And here I am…in Fayetteville Arkansas of all places. Oh what a hilarious yet so incredibly beautifully faithful God we serve. Despite the miles that still separate us and the crazy dreams and visions we both have for the rest of our time here on this earth, our hearts remain strung together in the most beautiful stitching.

There are so many things that I want to thank you for. So many moments of my life that were made bearable… hopeful… joyful… exciting… adventurous …better… loving… because you were in them. Words will never be enough to express the way your friendship has changed my life. You have challenged me in so many ways. I have learned to love well, to love when it is not reciprocated right away, to love when I disagree, to love when I just want to shake the person and tell them to wake up…mostly because that is how you have loved me. Today, I am so blessed to continue to learn with you, to pour out the depths of our hearts to one another, to pray for one another, to encourage one another and to speak Truth over one another. I am so blessed to watch the Lord move in your life, molding your heart in preparation for His plans and purposes along the way. I am blessed to be apart of the PROCESS…not in a single year but little by little until you have increased enough to possess the land! I cannot wait to bear witness as He continues to reveal His plans for your precious life Lesley Wilkinson. Thank you for being apart of mine along the way, through this endless process we call life. I love you with all of my heart and I pray that as the years continue, that seed planted so long ago continues to bear much fruit, fruit that will last…that seed that is so representative of this beautiful sisterhood which I have been blessed to share with you, this process we are in together.

I love
you buddy.